Master list of Die Hard fanfiction

Currently 227 stories (not counting sequels). Last updated on 2009/02/28.

Note: This is a MASTER LIST, NOT a rec list. Bear in mind that quality of the stories varies.

What you’ll find here: stories based on ANY of the four Die Hard movies. However, “Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard” fiction is the one that’s predominantly featured on this list.

 
This list is divided into several sections by pairing/genre: John/Matt | other slash | gen fic | Matt/Lucy | other het. Please scroll down to find specific category.

NEW – recently added to the list.

 

JOHN MCCLANE/MATT FARRELL

10 Random Facts About John McClane by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, R, 784 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: After his father, ‘Gorgeous George’ McClane died when he was seven, his mother sent him and his younger brothers to stay with his uncle for a few months before she got settled down in a new place. His uncle, Davey, was a New York City cop.

NEW A Type by The Chinchilla
McClane/Farrell, G, 100 words, humour, crossover with Transporter.
Excerpt: It’s Matt’s idea and Matt’s money, so John doesn’t complain that much when he’s dragged across hundreds of miles of ocean for a baguette –

Abatis by Bliss
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, ~100 words, established relationship. Summary: Fun with computer games.
Excerpt: “Dude, I am so kicking ass,” Matt crowed.

Accustomed by Permetaform
McClane/Farrell, G, ~400 words, established relationship. Summary: Schmoopy schmoop. Matt being adorable, and tired.
Excerpt: Internet, he sighed happily, and squinted at his email through sleep gunk. John wandered by, dropped a kiss into his hair, and was checking his gun getting ready to go out the door.

NEW Aftermath by Chase65
McClane/Farrell, PG, 390 words, pre-slash. Summary: John knows all about the inappropriate feelings that develop during crisis situations. Sequel: Matt discovers the downside to having a blog.
Excerpt: He didn’t think about funerals and parentless children. There had been a threat and he’d neutralized it. Black and white. Move on. He didn’t do aftermaths. Except…except. Except, he was standing in front of the kid‘s apartment door with his hand in the air poised to knock for the second time. It wasn’t necessary.

Aftermath and sequel Affirmation by Lizzypaul
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2080+2160 words, first time. Summary: John knows all about the inappropriate feelings that develop during crisis situations. Sequel: Matt discovers the downside to having a blog.
Excerpt: “I…” Matt started, then twisted up and kissed John. It was barely a kiss, a brief touch of lips, before Matt was scooting back in his seat, eyes wide, hand going for his door handle. “Ohmygodpleasedon’tkillme,” he mumbled.

NEW The Afternoon Snack by Kritikeragent
McClane/Farrell, 800 words. Prompt: “spread”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John walked into the kitchen after waking from a nap. He went to grab a beer from the fridge when he saw Matt at the counter. The hacker had his back to John and he asked curiously “Hey kid, what are you doing?” Matt turned around and John felt his mouth go dry as he watched peanut butter being licked off a knife.

Against The Wall and sequel (?) First Family Christmas by The Tenth Muse1
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2300+1400 words, established relationship. Warning: daddy!kink. Summary: Matt lets something slip to McClane. Sequel: John springs some news on Matt.
Excerpt: Somehow, it always started out against the wall. Matt would walk into the apartment and seconds later, John would just…pounce and Matt found himself against the wall or the door or, sometimes, the bookcase.

All Things Being Equal, I’d Rather Be In Philadelphia by Kansas
Gen-ish, McClane/Farrell, PG, 1878 words, pre-slash. A/N: Title from the first Die Hard. I sat down to write McClane/Farrell, but first I had to get John to a point where I’d believe it. So instead, it’s all about getting John to a point where I’d believe it, and not at all about the hot sexin’. Hey, sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
Excerpt: He stares at the cracked ceiling and makes up elaborate scenarios: Farrell’s got a crush on him, but won’t say anything because he thinks John’ll beat him up. Farrell’s got a crush on him, but won’t say anything because he thinks Lucy will beat him up. Farrell’s got a crush on him, but knows that there’s no way a guy like John would ever have anything to do with a guy like him. All of the above.

And one time it didn’t work out by Teegan
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 2900 words. A/N: This is more of a background/history for my RP version of Matt, in a world where (1) the events of the movie took place in summer 2008, (2) Gabriel didn’t die, but was put in a coma, and (3) Matt now lives in Canada. This isn’t a happy story, because why would Matt move to Canada, if he and John lived happily ever after?
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt really hadn’t meant for John to ever know about it. It was Lucy’s fault. But, really, when wasn’t it? After they pieced together what had happened, Lucy had laughed and apologized and sworn up and down she didn’t mean for her phone to dial her dad in the middle of the night, in the middle of one of the nights they spent together drinking and talking.

And then along came John (or, Five Times McClane Saved Daisy Duke) by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, R, 2300 words, first time. Prompt: undercover/pretend boyfriends.
Excerpt: “Oh, hi there,” was the very first thing Matt said when John dragged him out, coughing and sputtering, out of the ruins of the fourth floor of the J. Edgar Hoover building. John wasn’t even supposed to be there so frigging late. He usually had Friday evenings off, a real nice perk for this new position.

Anniversary Shelter by Quiet Tiger
McClane/Farrell, G, 462 words. Summary: It’s been a year. John and Matt definitely don’t go out to celebrate.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt looked at John earnestly. “You said you had to fight terrorists two Christmases in a row, right?” / John looked at him disinterestedly and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. Sucked.” / Matt pointed at his watch. “It’s July.” / Suddenly concerned, John raised the other eyebrow.

NEW any tool is a weapon if you hold it right by Healingmirth
McClane/Farrell, R, 900 words. A/N: This is inspired by the fic search a couple days ago for John hurting Matt during sex – I don’t claim that it satisfies what she was looking for, but I couldn’t get the plot bunny to go away. Summary: John maybe doesn’t know his own strength, but Matt does.
[Have not read] Excerpt: It’s nothing, Matt says, the bruises on Matt’s hips or shoulders or around his wrists that John knows must have been from his hands, but that he can’t remember causing.

NEW The art of falling (without breaking your neck) by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 4300 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: He gazed at himself critically as he stood in the front hall. Maybe he should have cut his hair; he plucked his glasses from his face, heading to the bathroom for his contacts, and then turned back. Okay; time to relax, Farrell. Breathe in. Breathe out. It was just another date with McClane, that was all. Maybe instead of the heavy-duty petting they’d been doing so far, they’d move on to something… more.

The Art of Losing by Bliss
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1456 words, pre-slash (UST), some angst. Summary: We’re in an airport, so I’m hoping you won’t punch me for this.
Excerpt: He keeps on glancing at the computer screen behind the departure desk and thinking that if the kid was here, he’d probably be babbling on about computer shit and John wouldn’t understand a fucking word of it, but the look on the kid’s face would be enough.

Banging His *No, Not Head* Against the Wall by Froggy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 880 words. Kink: wall sex. Summary: John just can’t wait.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “But I don’t want to wait until we get home,” John says, pulling Matt into his arms to kiss him. “I want it now. Come on, Matt, I want you right now.” Matt swallows audibly. “John, we’re at work.”

Beggars, choosers by Plutogirl10
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 560 words, PWP.
Excerpt: There’s a wiry strength in the slender body beneath him. It’s more steadfast tenacity and unflinching dignity than it is muscle, maybe, but it’s strength nonetheless, and all the more admirable for not being purely physical.

Better Late Than Never by HalfshellVenus
Gen-ish, McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1873 words, pre-slash. Summary: Being the strong silent type has its consequences, not all of them obvious.
Excerpt: The apartment was too quiet now—even though he turned on the television as soon he came home. It was quiet because something was missing… someone was missing. The only spark of life the place had seen in the last decade had walked right out the door. And John had let it happen.

A Better Winter Holiday by Healingmirth
McClane/Farrell, R, 5200 words. Summary: John employs a grand holiday tradition for the wrong reasons, but gets the right results. (You say “cliched premise,” I say “cherished cultural icon!”)
[Have not read] Excerpt: When Matt stepped out the door to take the trash down to the dumpster on the day after Christmas, the detritus of Lucy and Jack’s visit piled high in his arms, he nearly went ass over teakettle down the stairs. He was saved, if it can be called that, by slamming his shoulder into the railing and bouncing to the floor in a shower of cardboard and wrapping paper.

Blue Light by Lucy
McClane/Farrell, R, 1400 words, established relationship. Summary: A blackout in NYC causes chaos everywhere but the McClane/Farrell apartment.
Excerpt: He’d called the kid at eight to let him know what was going to on, and find out how things were at home; apparently, from what he could understand, the computers were all fine, running on the unfathomable amount of back-up power supplies that Matt had brought with him when he moved in. Plus, the food in the fridge was going to last at least a week because of “all the icepacks you have in there to deal with the injuries of the week, man, it’s a good thing you’re so damn accident prone, isn’t it?”

bound to drift a while by Seraphina Snape (or here)
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 16374 words, hurt/comfort. Summary: A serial killer is drawing the attention of the New York Police – and the media. John McClane isn’t even involved in the case until the killer targets someone close to him: Matt Farrell. Matt escapes, but his memory is gone and his life is still in danger. Now John has to keep Matt safe from a psychotic killer, help him recover his memory and deal with the budding attraction between them. Then the killer makes another attempt at Matt’s life…
[Have not read] Excerpt: “What do you mean, Kaschinsky asked about me?” John asked irritably. His shift was practically over and now dispatch was hailing him about a random B&E case? “Tell him to solve his own damn cases.” / The voice of the desk sergeant was distorted by the microphone as he replied, “He says you know the victim.”

Breaker of Toys by Permetaform
McClane/Farrell, G, ~400 words, implied established relationship, crossover with Transformers. Summary: John breaks things.
Excerpt: “MEATBAG!” a machine roared in fury as they hit one of the C4 traps John had set. “TINCAN!” John roared back, hustling Matt backwards towards the truck with the bazooka.

Calling All Cops and Autobots by Megyal (or here)
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~18200 words, AU, crossover with Iron Man. A/N: [...] if you haven’t watched Iron Man, or you’re not into it, I don’t think it particularly matters, since the majority of the focus is on the Die Hard characters. Summary: John and Matt both end up working together for the government… on robotic suits, of all things.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matthew Farrell bent low towards the computer he had been set in front of, peering blearily at the smeared screen. He typed a line of code and stared at what he had done, before pressing the backspace key and trying again. There was a man standing behind him, large and in-charge; this man had a submachine gun clutched to his chest. If Matt made any funny moves, this submachine gun would be put to its proper use, and the proper use would be to the back of Matt’s head.

Cane by Lazydaisy501
Gen-ish, McClane/Farrell, G, 100 words, pre-slash. Prompt: “It’s not that bad”.
Excerpt: “I have to use a cane! I mean, look at me!” Matt complained as he and John limped out of the hospital, Matt relying on his third leg more and more with each step.

Chez McClane by Karmen Ghia
McClane/Farrell, adult, 1812 words.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Before he passed out at the hospital, McClane called in a favor from Mike Harrigan, one of his friends on the Force. Knowing Matt would be in good hands, he slept for three days.

Coda by Gemjam
McClane/Farrell, slight Farrell/Lucy McClane, NC-17, 7364 words, first time.
Excerpt: One time, when they’re done and Matt’s still kind of buzzed, their bodies damp as they lay together on Lucy’s single bed in Lucy’s dorm room, she leans over to the nightstand and picks up a short piece of black ribbon, tying it snugly around Matt’s right wrist. [...] “You can take that off when you get your balls back,” she says. Matt gazes down at his balls absently and then back at Lucy. He doesn’t get it. “I think we should break up,” Lucy adds.

Collateral Damage (part 1, part 2) by Casey
McClane/Farrell, R, 3900 words. Warning (part 1): Extreme violence, torture and profanity. No sex but briefly mentions sexuality. Warning (part 2): Profanity. Sexuality and non-graphic sex.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John can recall it with perfect clarity in his dreams. It’s like watching a movie but complete with sound, smell, the whole lot.

Coming Home by Lorraine
McClane/Farrell, R, 2779 words, first time.
Excerpt: After the fire sale fails, after the morphine has worn off, after Matt’s had too much time to think about killing two people, McClane doesn’t fade into the woodwork like Matt expects.

Connectivity (Five Meals John Didn’t Plan to Have) and sequels Rewriting the Disk, All I Want For Christmas, Mornings After Nightmares, Save As (or here), Technobabble by Poisontaster
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 36539 words, first time/established relationship, some angst.
Excerpt: It feels…awake in a way it didn’t a moment ago. Alive. All the feelings/arguments go through his head in an instant: don’t really mean it too old washed up too young don’t know what you want not really gay just confused… but blooming up like a stubborn weed in the middle of it all is a simple, I want.

Content to Rest by Strifechaos
McClane/Farrell, R, 748 words, first time. Summary: How I would have preferred the last scene to go.
Excerpt: John grits his teeth as he hauls him self over to the other ambulance; feeling the slashes, bruised ribs and bullet wounds; though the meds the paramedics gave him have lessened the sensations all to a lesser roar. He reaches the ambulance that Matthew’s being treated in, a dopey look coating his features until he notices John’s approach.

Context by Svilleficrecs
McClane/Farrell, R, ~700 words, established relationship. Summary: Matthew tries to remind himself that here, it’s not a *fetish item*, it’s just one of the tools of John’s trade.
Excerpt: Matthew visits John’s precinct and as he waits for ‘Detective McClane’ to wrap up, he stares at the pair of handcuffs that rest on the corner of John’s cluttered desk. They’re just sitting out there casually, yawning open on a pile of paperwork.

NEW Contrapossto by Triden
McClane/Farrell, R, 5400 words. Summary: A series of cute, fluffy, and full of Lemon!Oneshots of the John/Matt slash persuasion.
[Have not read] WIP? Excerpt: John Mclane didn’t know how it happened. One minute he had been told that as a Senior Detective, he had to be the one to go all the way to Camden to pick up an annoying- as- hell hacker. Then the next minute he was standing next to his ambulance, watching as fore- mentioned hacker got his knee bandaged up in the other ambulance. Suddenly, and John didn’t know how it had happened in less than thirty hours, he had grown attached to the kid.

Convalescence by Atuinsails
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 12500 words. Warning: BDSM. Summary/note: John and Matt convalesce together. Yeah, that kind of together. Some Holly-bashing, and some possible OOC John. [...]
[Have not read] Excerpt: John’s first thought after coming out of the anesthetic was that he hurt all over. The second thought was that he was far too old for this shit. The third came after seeing Matt on the bed beside his. The kid was serious eye candy once he was cleaned up and had some sleep. The thought made him feel like a dirty, old man, which brought a moan of chagrin.

Date Night by Harlequin
McClane/Farrell, R, 6238 words. Summary: Matt heads out one Saturday night to meet a guy he says is a friend, but when John sees them together he realises it’s a date. He follows them to a gay night club, feeling both intrigued and confused.
[Have not read] Excerpt: It appeared that the kid was going out. Late Saturday afternoon, there was a sudden flurry of activity around John McClane’s spare bedroom and the bathroom. When Matt Farrell eventually emerged, his hair was washed and brushed, his face shaved, and John thought he detected the scent of cinnamon which seemed suspiciously like whatever product it was that Lucy had bought John last Christmas, back when she still didn’t care.

Did Tennessee What Arkansas? and sequel Can You Hear Me Now? by CPWatcher (prequel – A Close Shave)
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1970+4390+4250 words. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, prompt: “Lucy spies Matt giving her Daddy a blow job”, kink: “voyeurism, masturbation (Lucy, of course!)”; sequel: prompt: “Holly finds out about John’s new lover”, kink: “jealousy, conflict, verbal spewage, anger” (prequel – prompt: “John gives Matt a close shave”, kink: “manscaping nether regions”).
[Have not read] Excerpt: Of course it started to rain… / “John McClane, where the fuck are you?” / Lucy Gennero scrabbled in her purse for the keys to her dad’s two-flat apartment building, trying to get out of the sudden microburst rain shower.

Die Hard 4.5 : I’ll Be Hard for Christmas by Aja
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 15277 words, first time. Summary: Subcommittee bingo, flashbulb gauntlets, and gay sex scandals – oh, there’s no place like Capitol Hill for the holidays!
Excerpt: He’d always meant to get together a new plan, one besides “be in wrong place on wrong day at wrong time, save everyone, go on tv, impress ex-family.” He’d just never gotten around to it. At least Plan A always worked for a while; but the overhead was a real bitch. This time around, he had no chance at forming a plan at all. The media was everywhere, all over him.

Different Names for the Same Thing by Gemjam
McClane/Farrell, R, ~1300 words, established relationship. Summary: John’s thoughts on Matt and what they share.
Excerpt: When Matt sleeps, he sleeps like the dead. John’s kind of addicted to watching it. That fact makes him feel a little like a stalker, but he knows it’s okay, because Matt’s his…

Dinner for Two by Nyx
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1200 words, pre-slash. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, prompt: Matt is stood up on a blind date. John comes to the ‘rescue’ & saves the day”, kink: “UST”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John McClane was sitting on his couch enjoying a beer when he cell phone started vibrating on the coffee table. He stretched out a hand and caught it before it hit the floor. Wtih an annoyed sigh, he flipped it open.

Don’t Call Me At Work by Nyx
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1100 words. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, prompt: “John on a stakeout or at the station house, Matt cranking him up via cell phone”, kink: “phone sex, orgasm denial”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John shifted in his chair and sighed. He wasn’t happy. He should have been out catching criminals, not sitting behind his desk doing paperwork. He’d fully healed from the injuries he had sustained during the Fire Sale and he wanted to be back on the streets putting away the bad guys. John was also pretty sure that the paperwork on his desk was multiplying when he wasn’t looking.

Drinking Contest by Permetaform
McClane/Farrell, PG, 100 words, established relationship. Prompt: “abatis”.
Excerpt: John McClane, he thinks, John McClane, has never been more fucking humiliated in his thirty-some years serving with the NYPD.

NEW Easy Way Out by Entwashian
McClane/Farrell, R, 250 words, pre-slash (UST). Prompt: “safe”.
Excerpt: Matt would’ve thought that he hadn’t spent enough time around John McClane for his body to become conditioned to the other man’s voice, except that when the word “sexy” comes out of John’s mouth, it feels like someone nuzzling at Matt’s balls.

Energized by Juli
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3181 words, established relationship. Summary: John’s not sure he approves of what Matt’s drinking.
Excerpt: What prickled John’s cop instincts wasn’t Matt’s stuff, but what the kid drank. When John saw the tall, skinny cans, he thought it was some sort of imported beer, but one whiff had disabused him of that notion.

Epiphany by Sullacat
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~7000 words. Summary: John McClane isn’t gay. Got it?
[Have not read] Excerpt: August was too fucking hot to be this hyper… And the kid was so damned excitable. John had never spent so much time with someone who bounced from topic to topic with such rapid speed. Politics then the NRA then Hollywood then global warming. Jesus…

Equilibrium by Froggy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 956 words. Kink: rimming. Summary: It’s hot, but Matt still wants his coffee. John wants something else entirely.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “You can’t be drinking coffee in this heat! As if caffeine doesn’t mess you up already,” John said, snatching Matt’s Styrofoam cup. “Gimme that.” / “Hey!” Matt exclaimed, outraged. “Give it here! Jeez, McClane, didn’t you ever hear of negative feedback? Read a biology book, would you.”

Everything Must Go by Mala
McClane/Farrell, R, 550 words, first time. Summary: Blowing up a helicopter with a car is the least of McClane’s talents.
Excerpt: He pokes McClane in the chest. The apparently uninjured chest. How is that even possible? “And no, you’re not sexy either. How are you still *walking*? What are you, like the Terminator or something?”

Exclusion by Morphinelovexx
McClane/Farrell, one-sided Warlock/Farrell, PG-13, 222 words. Summary: Freddy hates cops.
Excerpt: The way McClane had his spread hand resting on the small of Matt’s back irked him. The way Matt didn’t seem to notice made him absolutely fucking nuts. It was the reason Freddy hated cops. They just took things, whatever the hell they wanted because they felt entitled to it.

Feels Like the First Time, Only Better by CPWatcher
McClane/Farrell, McClane/Holly, McClane/OFC, John McClane/OMC/OFC, NC-17, 1934 words. Prompt: John’s first time with a man.
[Have not read] Excerpt: The first time he did it, this, was on his honeymoon in Hawaii. They’d been there for three days, never even leaving the hotel room. Holly had been quite adventurous back then and extremely bendy. It had happened by accident; at least he’d thought so.

First by Alexandria Brown
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3164 words, first time. Written for the Porn Battle, prompt: virgin.
Excerpt: Matt knew it would come to this. After all, John made it clear, hurt his baby girl and a beat down was sure to come. He was surprised that it took so long, really. He’d expected it, oh, about ten second after he and Lucy broke up.

Fitter, happier, more productive by Svilleficrecs
McClane/Farrell, R, 100 words, established relationship, humour. Prompt: “It’s not that bad”.
Excerpt: John likes the kid’s hair, how it flies around when he gets wound-up and animated. He tugs on Matt’s bangs and grins.

Fuck Hard 4.0 by Thilia
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2337 words, first time. Summary: Matt’s released from the hospital and immediately checks on John McClane. The visit becomes one to remember…
Excerpt: Matt was slightly nervous when he walked towards the door of the apartment. He finally got out of hospital that afternoon and all he’d been thinking about was go visit him.

Gay Porn by Froggy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3100 words. Summary: Better than the internet… Matt has a jock-thing. Written for the sixth round at rounds_of_kink; kink = geek/jock pairing.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt licked his lips, glancing back to ensure McClane was nowhere around. The older man had said he was going grocery shopping, but then again, Matt knew he had a tendency to show up unexpectedly. At odd times.

Get Some of This by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, R, ~4300 words, established relationship. Prompt: “He really didn’t like the way that that woman was looking at John”. Kink: “possessiveness”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt played idly with his drink, running his finger down the side of the tall, slender glass, catching droplets of cool condensation. He couldn’t see John and had given up searching a long time ago; he figured he had looked really gawky, one foot on the ground, the other foot propped up on the metal foot-rest of the stool, craning his neck as he tried to get a glimpse of John’s bald head.

give and take by Healingmirth
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 500 words, established relationship. Prompt: “pliant”.
Excerpt: The best – the absolute best – thing about morning sex is a John McClane that no one else gets to see. Not that there is anything wrong with that everyday McClane – tough, and honest, and cocky and that smile and christ those muscles.

Good Boy Gone Bad by Alexandria Brown
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1693 words, first time. A/N: In a moment of weakness, I promised to write Lucy some John/Matt uniform porn. This would be it.
Excerpt: So it absolutely wasn’t his fault that he was unprepared for coming across that picture when he was hanging out in Lucy’s room. Not his fault at all that his mouth went dry and his eyes wide when he saw that picture of John Motherfucking McClane, Real Live Action Hero, dressed up in that uniform.

Good Idea, Bad Idea by Quiet Tiger
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 791 words. Summary: Life is full of good ideas and bad ideas. Sometimes one thing is both at the same time.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “Relax, McClane.” / “We’re surrounded by people. It’s not relaxing.” / Matt pulled his mouth off of John’s cock again. “Couples doing exactly what we are. So just enjoy it!”

Good Thing Going by Torra
McClane/Farrell, PG, 700 words, established relationship. Summary: Matt and John really do have a good thing going…
Excerpt: “Come on, man, it’s California! You love California!” / “I told you, Warlock, I don’t take jobs out there anymore.” [...] John rested his shoulder against the wall outside the old guest room, now converted to Matt’s office and geek sanctuary. He’d been wondering about the odd job location rejections himself recently

Great To See You (Now Go Away) by Torra
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1750 words, established relationship. Summary: Zeus runs into an old friend while at the hospital.
Excerpt: “John fucking McClane.” Zeus groaned loudly as the doors to the hallway were flung open, an older, bald man striding though, limping hard on the plaster cast around his left leg, a kid in his late twenties trailing behind him. “McClane, what the hell are you doing here?”

Guardian-Ward Pact (part 1, part 2, part 3) by Strifechaos
McClane/Farrell, R, 22550 words. Summary: AU. Matt wasn’t just a name on a list, and now it’s up to John to save the day. Again.
[Have not read] Excerpt: This time around John’s reward for saving the country ended up being two bullet wounds, six cracked ribs, a severe concussion, several lacerations, a sprained wrist, and more aches and bruises than he or the medical staff can count. He never felt his age so fully before; and while he lay in the hospital bed, John came to the conclusion that he was getting too damn old for this “going up against terrorists” bullshit.

Hail to the Chief by Quiet Tiger
McClane/Farrell, R, 1211 words. Summary: John McClane ‘08. Matt’s amused. John’s not.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt fought his way through a crowd of reporters outside John’s house—it’d be a while before he considered it his own as well—and used his key to get in the door. He found John lying on his back on the couch with his arm over his eyes, listening to some old war movie on TV, the volume turned down low.

Have mercy on an old man by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1700 words, established relationship. Prompt: Matt can’t get enough. Kink: sexual appetite or excess.
Excerpt: “Dad,” Lucy said to John very intently, the moment he opened his menu. “You need to know a few things about Matt. Or… just one thing, but you need to know it.” / “You’re not serious.” John squinted at her for a long moment and then rolled his eyes. “Come on, Lucy. You didn’t drag me to lunch to talk about Matt.”

Healing by Gemjam
McClane/Farrell, R, ~6300 words, first time, hurt/comfort. Summary: A couple of months after the fire sale, Matt finds it hard to leave it behind him and move on.
Excerpt: “I have these dreams,” he said. The moment the words were out of his mouth, he felt like a complete idiot. He ducked his head and rubbed his forehead with his hand so he didn’t have to look at McClane. “They stop me sleeping.”

The Height of Technology is Frozen Pizza by Zahra
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1939 words, first time.
Excerpt: The first time Matt calls McClane, it’s because he ordered too much pizza. Not that there’s such a thing as too much pizza, but if there is, then Matt would have it. Apparently, he took an Ambien instead of a Tylenol. He’s just glad he’s not outside in his underwear again. And to show McClane his gratitude, Matt hangs up after the first ring. Wuss.

Helicopters by Saraid
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2731 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: “Terrified,” John said, and Matt could hear the smile in his voice. But it wasn’t John’s smart-ass, yippe-ki-yay smile. Or his semi-maniacal ‘take that’ smile, which was usually accompanied by a short, hoarse, laugh –

How Enos Finally Caught Daisy (Or, Possibly, The Other Way Around) by Tigerlady (or here)
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3748 words, first time. Summary: John’s not afraid of new things. He just prefers to take life as it comes, when he can.
Excerpt: John’s not sure what bothers him more: the fact that Lucy is answering Farrell’s door, or the gut- deep disappointment that Matt isn’t the one to greet him. But the warmth on his daughter’s face and in her arms washes away all of that.

I Fly by Salieri
McClane/Farrell, PG, 3400 words, established relationship. Prompts: superhero, lunch pail, 3:00 a.m. Summary: So, that’s why Matt doesn’t point out the Human Fly who is currently stalking them from the rooftop across the street. He figures that they’ll lose him at the intersection because, while Matt’s seen the Human Fly climb up brick walls, he’s never seen him actually, you know, fly.
Excerpt: Matt has stopped pointing him out, mostly because the first five times he tried, by the time John turned to look, the Human Fly was gone. The last couple of times John didn’t bother looking up from his newspaper or away from the TV. Instead he just grunted in that way that meant, “Yeah, kid. Human Fly. Got it.”

If you could only see by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, R, 1900 words. Prompt: “He knows John is watching”. Kink: voyeurism and vision themes.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John sat in a nearby chair and watched with a critical eye as one of the Feds fitted Matt with a tracking device, disguised as a silver band around his bare upper arm. The tracking device probably wasn’t necessary at all, but it was a great safety measure, in case anything bad went down.

In for a Penny, In for a Pound by Permetaform
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, ~1800 words, first time. Summary: The guy was tire’d.
Excerpt: “You…you just killed that guy with a tire.” John just looked at him sourly. Checked his watch. Then the world went fffffwooosssh and Matt found himself on the hood of a car, mouth being ravished[...].

In like a lion… and untitled sequel by Mypsychoticself
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 362+327 words, first time/established relationship, some angst (in sequel).
Excerpt: Their pseudo-relationship had started with a bang (a really big bang), so it was only appropriate, Matt figured, that they get a bit more drama at the end. But then, world-go-bang drama just might be preferable to this, he thought as he fidgeted with his napkin.

Interference by Permetaform
McClane/Farrell, G, 100 words, pre-slash, humour. Prompt: dissonance.
Excerpt: Lucy sat at one side of the square table and eyed to her left, then eyed the right.

Interrupted by Magicgerbil
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 743 words, established relationship. Summary: A small slice of what John has to go through to get some sleep.
[Have not read] Excerpt: McClane opened his eyes; gaze sharp on the shadowy ceiling. He listened carefully to the urban night and wondered what had woken him.

it ain’t me and prequels/sequels John McClane Can Slam a Revolving Door, Shifting out of Neutral, Boys in Blue, I’ll be home for Christmas by Healingmirth
McClane/Farrell, R, 16350 words, first time/established relationship. Prompt (part 1): John goes undercover. Summary (part 1): Matt discovers that John has hidden talents. No, not those kind of talents.
Excerpt: Matt wouldn’t have believed it, if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. The idea of John McClane, undercover cop, is ridiculous. The whole point, as far as Matt can tell, of being John McClane is that he’s immutable. He has always been the same dogged, fiercely protective, independent, incorruptible, unthreatenable guy.

Jock Itch and sequel Skirting the Issue by Quiet Tiger
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 5964+3723 words. Summary: John and Matt hook up after the Fire Sale, and one thing leads to another, to Matt’s great pleasure. Sequel: Matt dresses up for John, and John approves.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John felt himself smirking as he watched Matt try to adjust himself in his seat with his bad knee and crutches. The kid was such a spaz, it was difficult to remember that he had saved the country a few weeks ago. Or was it just last week? John’s sense of time was all screwed up from days of not sleeping and then days where he was passed out on pain medication.

Just That Simple Thing by ToraK
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 5889 words, first time. Summary: “Daisy Duke, did you break into my house today?” John’s voice was extra rumbly when he was pissed. Matt didn’t find that hot. Not at all.
Excerpt: When Matt said `let’s change that’, he meant in some small way. He meant that he really wanted to buy the helicopter for John and needed a reason to do it, but Lucy, apparently, heard ‘let’s change twenty years worth of Scrooge tendencies in one holiday season’.

Learning Curve by Gemjam
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~5700 words, first time. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, prompt: “Matt has never had sex – with anyone”, kink: “first time anal, gentleness”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: When Matt was discharged from the hospital, he was on too many painkillers to think there was anything strange about his going to stay with McClane. He just got into McClane’s car, slept for the whole ride, and then let himself be bundled into the guest room.

Life, Mid-Crisis and sequels From a Rut to a Groove, Interlude No. 1, or In-Laws in D Flat Major, NEW Sugar Daddy by Lamardeuse
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 5200+11360+7400+950 words, first time/established relationship, some angst. Summary: When Matt bought the gym membership, he knew he was screwed.
Excerpt: “You think this is what you want now,” he said, almost patiently, like he’d rehearsed it, like he hadn’t just been kissing the hell out of Matt, “but it’s not gonna last.” / Matt quit pushing against John’s grip, and John let go of him. “What do you mean?” / “I mean,” John snarled, his gaze steady on Matt, “in the end, nobody wants to wake up next to a killer.”

Little Glimpses by Strifechaos
McClane/Farrell, R, ~1800 words, first time/established relationship. Summary: Fifty little glances at John/Matt. Note: Snagged the prompts from the 1sentence comm., 50 sentence prompts for our two guys. Some are very long sentences.
Excerpt: Three weeks into Matthew’s stay, the one that has never quite ended, John cranks up Journey and Matt bids on headphones from ebay.

Living and Dying by Sam-Tony
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 5275 words, first time (?). Warning: daddy!kink. Summary: A basic recap of the movie, but with a few added scenes and sex at the end.
[Have not read] Excerpt: The knock at the door couldn’t have come at a worse time. It was late, he was wired to the point of tired, and his harddrive had just started acting weird; never something he needed if he was going to make the rent.

“Lucy, it’s not that bad.” by Permetaform
McClane/Farrell, G, 100 words, humour.
Excerpt: “Lucy, I love you honey, but I’m not gonna kill him for dating you.—”

A Man Called McClane by Irena Adler
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2296 words, first time. Summary: Matt gives in to his urges.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt watched John sleep. He didn’t think he’d seen the great John McClane sleep before, but a full meal, a few beers, and a really boring basketball game on the TV had knocked John out. Not that he was an old man, dozing in front of the TV …

Mine by Nyx
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1450 words. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, prompt: “Matt doesn’t do it intentionally – he doesn’t think…”, kink: “possessiveness or jealousy”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt didn’t do it on purpose. At least, John didn’t think that he did. Matt was just the type of person who others flocked to. He made friends everywhere that he went. He’d even managed to make friends with John’s friends from work. John was happy with that, at least. He wanted his friends to like his lover. He just didn’t want them to like him too much.

Missing NYPD by Nikitaclone
McClane/Farrell, Tony/Gibbs, NC-17, 1650 words, crossover with NCIS. Summary: What might have been after the movie. A/N: This is a challenge answer. Challenge: “a)John ends up living at Matt’s (Whats the reason?) b)John needs Matt’s help c)a combination of both”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John McClane really couldn’t believe that life had screwed him like this. He was reduced to asking the kid his daughter’s age for a place to stay. He had been canned from NYPD, his pension was still in a shambles thanks to Gabriel, his ex-wife still didn’t want to speak to him, Lucy lived in the dorms and couldn’t help, and God alone knew about Jack.

Mr Rock and Roll by ToraK
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~5700 words, first time.
Excerpt: When John comes around, it’s to a familiar softwetwarm feeling, and his first thought is Holly. Except, unless things have changed a lot in the three years since he’s seen her, Holly doesn’t have stubble, and that’s weird enough to drag him all the way awake.

Mutual Agreement by Bloody_American
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3795 words, first time, cross-dressing. Summary: Matt is into things he knew McClane wouldn’t even want to imagine but he’s okay with that. At least he got to be McClane’s friend, right?
Excerpt: It was when he had his buckle unbuckled, his fly all the way down and his shirt tangled in his arms up over his head that he heard the door swing open. John started, “Hey, Matt, I wanted to-” and then stopped. Silence filled the room with a tension so thick that John could have killed it with a car. Again.

Nearly Indestructable by Sherrold
McClane/Farrell, G, 3156 words. Summary: “He can’t die? We should all have such problems.”
[Have not read] Excerpt: “Here’s the problem.” His contact handed him an 8 x 10 glossy; label said Detective John McClane. “He can’t die.” / “He can’t die? We should all have such problems.” Matt Alexander looked down and scratched his head for a second, not sure whether to laugh or not.

New Paths to Helicon, Pt. 2, or How Matt Farrell Finally Got into John McClane’s Levis by Lorraine
McClane/Farrell, R, 2038 words, first time.
Excerpt: Matt stopped leaving messages on McClane’s machine two days ago, not because as Warlock put it, he finally realized the futile and pathetic nature of his man crush, but because the machine was full. Besides, this isn’t a man crush; Matt’s had those before and McClane is no Chad Michael Murray. What Matt feels for McClane is something different, emotion forged through adrenaline and mortal terror and shared responsibility. Something way more noble than a man crush. Why else would Matt be hunkered down in the bushes outside McClane’s apartment watching him eat pizza through a gap in the blinds?

Night Before Dawn by Suaine
McClane/Farrell, McClane/OMC, Farrell/Lucy, PG, 2736 words. Summary: Five nights of John McClane.
Excerpt: After the death of his father, John didn’t sleep for a week. He spent his nights in the school chapel, yelling at God. He did it so much that his voice failed and the teachers called him out for giving them lip, when he couldn’t say a word in class. It was fine, anyway, he didn’t want them to know. They would just make him go home.

Not Today by Harlequin
McClane/Farrell, R, 5001 words. Summary: Matt begins a brand new chapter in his life when he receives a job offer from the FBI’s Cyber Division, and he finds that legitimacy suits him. But of course nothing feels quite complete. We know what Matt is missing, but it takes him a while to figure it out.
[Have not read] Excerpt: ‘Matt Farrell,’ he introduced himself to the feisty girl with the long reddish hair. She was John’s daughter, all right, except that her righteous fury made her spiky rather than molten. / ‘Lucy McClane.’ / He frowned. ‘I thought your name was Gennero. Lucy Gennero.’ / ‘Not today.’ / And his heart went out to her; it was a physical sensation, as if his actual heart travelled through the intervening air to hers and doubled it. He loved her for backing John McClane so fiercely, so bravely. That’s when he should have known.

Old Dogs Should Learn New Tricks by Froggy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 825 words, established relationship. Summary: Matt teaches John something new. Written for the sixth round at rounds_of_kink; kink = rimming, tongue-fucking.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “John, how come we’re always doing this?” John looked up from where he was squirting lube into his hand, situated between Matt’s spread legs. He looked surprised. “What, have sex? I thought you liked having sex.”

On the Line by Sam-Tony
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 4880 words. Warning: daddy!kink. Prompt: John on a stakeout or at the station house, Matt cranking him up via cell phone. Kink: Phone sex, orgasm denial. Summary: While on a stakeout, McClane gets a call from Matt – who’s had a bad day.
[Have not read] Excerpt: The buzz of the cell phone vibrating against his hip whined loudly in the otherwise silent car, rattling his nerves and making McClane jump even as his hand was already digging the scrap of metal out of his pocket in order to shut it the hell up. Juggling binoculars, coffee and phone, he even managed to keep his suspect in sight and not drop anything as he flipped the phone open, barking out an irritated, “McClane.”

On The Mating Habits of Middle Aged Action Heroes by Kita
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2043 words, first time.
Excerpt: As seduction techniques go, it pretty much sucks. But John is sort of drunk, and he’s a grown man, and he doesn’t need to be fucking seduced, especially not by a boy with hero worship in his eyes and daddy issues between his ears. “You goin’ somewhere with this, kid?” he says, finally looking at Matt.

On the Road… To Recuperation and sequels Learning to Agree, Respect and Passion, Playing Hard, Learning New Tricks, Wake Up Call, Home Care, Sex, Truth and Vids, For All The World To See, A Die Hard Christmas by Elayna (or here)
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~34100 words overall, first time/established relationship. Summary: John McClane learns to appreciate the younger generation.
Excerpt: John figured they were halfway through saving the country. Not just a small group of hostages, an airport, or a school of kids this time, but the entire fucking country. Halfway though; only halfway.

The One with the Advocate by Suaine
McClane/Farrell, PG, 558 words, established relationship, humour. Summary: People find out.
Excerpt: When Holly finds out, she just laughs and invites Matt for dinner with the family. She treats him like a son, which weirds John the fuck out and Matt kind of floats through it in a zombie-like state, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

NEW The One You’re With by Dira Sudis
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1405 words, established relationship. Summary: It’s Holly’s birthday.
Excerpt: There’s something important about the twenty-third, and it’s been bugging him all damn day. He knows there’s something he’s forgetting–except there’s nothing he’s forgetting. Matt programmed all his important dates and deadlines into John’s disturbingly over-powered new phone when he got it.

Open Source by Poisontaster
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 926 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: Jesus Christ and the whole choir of angels, it’s so good, and it’s stupid and dangerous and they’re right out on a public street and John—John, the living action hero himself—is jerking him off and Matt thinks this is it. This is it; this time I’m just going to die.

The Other Side by Bentrumors
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 171 words, established relationship. Prompt: “unexpected”.
Excerpt: He wasn’t expecting John this early, had answered the door in his towel, and told John to wait while he got dressed. As usual, John didn’t listen to orders.

Pay every pleasure with a pain by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2200 words. Prompt: John is unable to feel pleasure without a good dose of pain. Kink: masochism.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt opens his apartment door to John’s persistent knocking and looks out with a fairly impassive expression, leaning on the door-frame. At least, he’s trying to be impassive, but John’s been a cop for far too long and he reads a barrage of emotions in the kid’s face: there’s a brand of sharp, eager want, with a trace of reluctance. Other emotions as well, deeper ones, but John doesn’t want to inspect those right now. They’re too… intense.

The Pines by Lucy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 5100 words, AU, first time. Notes: this is an a/u, where McClane is still an NYPD detective, and Matt is – well, Matt, only minus laptop since they weren’t invented yet – and it’s 1977, [...], and umm. there’s barebacking.
Excerpt: Matt peered at him from under his lashes, taking in a hard, fit body, muscular arms and thighs, shaved head. He was dressed in jeans and a white tank, with a leather wristband, but he didn’t look like any of the leather clones in the club. He had to be forty-five at least, but he was built, for lack of a better term, like a brick shithouse.

Policeman’s Ball by Strifechaos
McClane/Farrell, R, 3159 words, first time. Summary: John McClane doesn’t want to go to the Policeman’s Ball or wear a tux–and as always things don’t go as expected.
Excerpt: John had tried to get out of going, really, really tried. Called in favors from all over the place and used every trick in the book—because if there was one thing he hated more than terrorists, it was wearing a tux.

pose in the murderer’s shadow by Iniq
McClane/Farrell, R, 1100 words, established relationship. Warning: mention of domestic abuse (not of the pairing, though). Prompt: outside POV. Summary: It’s McClane’s job to help strangers. He’s got his macho way of going about it, though.
Excerpt: He looked at the man defiantly, arms crossed over his chest, despite the fact that that position hurt. He couldn’t really see out of his right eye, but what his left could see was enough. Seasoned detective, probably in his fifties. Shaved head, tough attitude. They had brought the tough guy in when he hadn’t talked – but what for, he couldn’t guess.

Potatoes: Thanksgiving In Three Acts by Torra
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 4400 words, pre-slash/established relationship. Summary: The first three Thanksgivings Matt shares with the McClanes.
Excerpt: More jabbing at the poor, defenceless roast fingerling on her plate. “Do you know how embarrassing it is to have your boyfriend making moony eyes at you dad during a family dinner? I mean, it’s bad enough when you to do it on my couch, or when you get him giggling like a kid mocking those damn westerns of his, but in front of my mother?” The potato went flying off her plate. “It’s just damned embarrassing.”

Pretty Little Death Song, or Five Ways Matt Farrell Died by Salieri
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 4700 words. A/N: The first bit is really just silliness, and a way to get the 5 Things down to the 3 Things I really wanted to write. So the real thing starts after that. Summary: It’s a metaphor. Really.
Excerpt: “To do it.” His therapist told him to say it like that, instead of “it happened to me,” because he had to get the sense that he had some control or he’d never get past the nightsweats and the all-hours puking. Before he’d done it, he would’ve said that that right there would be the moment when the old Matt Farrell died and this new guy took his place, this guy who could get up from his chair and pick up a length of iron pipe and send some guy he didn’t even know down an elevator shaft.

Primeval by Prentice
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 840 words. Notes/warnings: Zombies. Blood. Gore. Violence. A blood bath. Hot Angry Sex. More Zombies. Hot Not Angry Sex. [1] This story is set directly after the events of Live Free or Die Hard while the United States is still recovering from the fall out of Gabriel’s fire sale. [2] There IS a non-slash story for this that I’m posting on fan fiction (dot) net. So if you just want John McClane killing the shit out of zombies and Matt Farrell screaming like a girl…go there. Summary: Pri-me-val (adjective): 1. ancient and origional at or from the ancient original stages in the development of something 2. primitive primitive, or arising from instinct rather than thought.
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: The copper stink of dried blood makes Matt’s stomach clench and roll, forcing a rush of bile to rise in his already abused throat. The sour tang of vomit is heavy in his mouth, making him gag and cough, the sound echoing in the silence of the tunnel before he can muffle it. Eyes’ widening fearfully, Matt presses a hand to his mouth and freezes, muscles tensing painfully.

NEW Pulling the Thorn by Dira Sudis
McClane/Farrell, PG, 1527 words, established relationship. Summary: There’s a huge scar down the sole of John’s left foot.
Excerpt: John’s wearing socks. He pretty much always does unless they’re naked, and when they’re naked Matt is usually not looking at his feet. Matt filed this away in his head somewhere along with the way John’s shoes are always next to the door, unlaced, ready to be put on. It’s the one point of housekeeping that John’s actually rigid about; it’s the same way he treats his gun and badge and phone. Shoes. It’s a preparedness thing. And if you’re going to need your shoes you want to be wearing socks. Matt gets it.

Putting Himself Out There and sequel Taking the Next Step by Irena Adler
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 4724+3902 words. Prompt: Matt discovers John has joined a gay singles chat room and anonymously seduces him. Kink: chat room porn. Sequel: Matt takes John to a Yankees game, with intentions.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John paced back and forth in his small apartment, passing by the computer again and again and eyeing it. Finally, he stopped and sat himself in front of it. It was a nice computer, with one of those new thin screens and everything. Matt Farrell had designed and set it up for him after the Fire Sale, when a few TV appearances had made John temporarily flush with cash.

Read All About It by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 4800 words, first time. Prompt: “God I love watching my come drip out of you.” John and/or Matt discover new kinks that they had never even considered before.
Excerpt: “Wait, hang on a sec,” John said before the kid could cut the connection. “You call me all the time and bug me about random cop information, and I don’t get to see what you’re writing?” / “You don’t want to see it,” Matt said quickly, the same fast, slightly embarrassed way he had answered the last time John had asked.

Rebuilding the World by Goddess_of_7s
McClane/Farrell (?), R, 7600 words. Warnings (by the author): Mentions child abuse, rape, violence and cussing. Note: This is about as graphic as it gets. There will be no graphic sex scenes, Matt will not be getting together with Lucy. Holly and John will not be getting together but neither am I going to ignore 20+ years of relationship that lies between them. Matt/John UST will be reached at some point in the future. It will not be graphic or over done. Their relationship is not the point of the story. Summary: Live Free or Die Hard might have ended for Gabriel, but it was just the beginning for everyone else.
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: Everything felt closed, finished done. The country was saved, the bad guy was dead, the good guys were working on their sexy scars. Everything looked to be getting back to normal, that was until they reached the edge of the city.

Rent-A-Boy by Froggy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 5600 words. Summary: When John sees Matt again, he sees him trying to sell sex. How to get him out of it? Written for the sixth round at rounds_of_kink; kink = rentboy. It starts out a little bit angsty, but I promise it doesn’t end badly.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt put his cigarette to his lips once more, inhaling lightly. He didn’t much care for the smoking itself, but the customers expected it and he found he pulled more – and better – clients when he smoked.

Requesting a Private Show by Froggy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1514 words. Kink: striptease. Summary: Matt can move in the most interesting ways…
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt had found John’s old record collection. Old vinyl record collection, at that. And while digging through it, he had discovered a Joe Cocker record, which he was enthusiastically shoving in John’s face.

The Rescue of Matthew Farrell by Elayna (or here)
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 15100 words, AU, first time. Summary: John rescues Matt from the notorious cult leader, Thomas Gabriel.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “The world is corrupt.” / “Yes, Gabriel.” / “It needs to be cleansed. A firestorm will rage through this world and destroy it.” / “Yes, Gabriel.” / “Then we can rebuild a new world.” / “Yes, Gabriel!” / “A better world!” / “Yes, Gabriel!” / “We can do it together!” / “Yes, Gabriel!” / Yadda yadda yadda, John thought, keeping his face carefully blank, not revealing his cynicism as he watched the daily spectacle.

Residue by Gemjam
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2701 words, established relationship. Summary: John’s gun makes Matt uncomfortable in a way he’s not sure how to deal with.
Excerpt: As John leans over the back of the couch, nuzzling the side of Matt’s face, all Matt can feel is the chill from the gun that hangs down from McClane’s body, almost touching his own. It winks at him slightly in the light of the room and Matt tries not to look, staring at the laptop screen in front of him.

Reversal by VZG
McClane/Farrell, R, 1292 words. Prompt: cops and robbers. Kink: roleplay.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “I just don’t know what goes through their heads.” / Across the couch, eyes still fixed on his laptop, Matt Farrell raised his eyebrows. “Probably ‘Oh, shit, I’m gonna die.’” / John McClane snorted, turning away from the television and the evening news to study his— his what? His friend?

Road Rage by VZG
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1881 words. Summary: Sometimes you say things without thinking about them, but that doesn’t mean others aren’t.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “Is that such a bad thing?” / After three hours, two of those stuck in in inch-a-minute traffic, John still didn’t understand half of what was coming out of Matt’s mouth. It hadn’t been his idea to drive the kid, really;

Romance in a Bottle (of Gun Oil) by Eeyore9990
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, ~6000 words, pre-slash/first time. Prompt: Learning to play again. Summary: John refuses to leave Matt behind.
Excerpt: John makes sure he gets to share a room with Farrell. His insurance won’t cover a private room and he figures he spent enough time during that hellacious fucking day with the kid to put up with a few days trapped in a hospital room with him. Besides, with Farrell there, maybe he won’t whine like a baby when the nurses come after him with needles. Fuck, he hates needles. It’s a good thing that wasn’t on a computer somewhere, or Gabriel would have had him.

RPS by Quiet Tiger
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 3056 words. Prompt: “Matt teaches John how to use the Internet. Either on his own or with Matt there, John discovers tons of John McClane fansites and quite a few Matthew Farrel ones too, prompting mixed emotions.” Summary: John finds stories written about him and Matt. It gets them both thinking.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John McClane was bored. He hadn’t had a day off in what felt like months, or maybe even actually was months, not since he was in shape to work after the Fire Sale. But here he was on a typical Tuesday, forced to take a break, and he was lounging restlessly around his apartment.

Rush by Quiet Tiger
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 11785 words, first time (?). Summary: Matt has issues. So does John. But together they work things out.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John McClane had spent the last three days working on a pain-in-the-ass case and all he wanted to do was go home, have a beer, and go to sleep. So when he heard a cry for help coming from the alley a little ways up, he was pissed because it might mean more paperwork for him to do.

Self-Inflicted by Torra
McClane/Farrell, R, 1000 words, established relationship. Summary: Matt’s being held at gunpoint yet again, and this time he takes a page from the McClane handbook.
Excerpt: “Well? Last chance, Boy. You got any thing left to say to your sugar daddy?” The guy laughed manically in Matt’s face, spraying him with bits of spittle. Matt couldn’t stop the feral grin, “Yah, yah, I do.” His hands came up, wrapping around the guy’s wrist, pulling the gun not away, but down, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.”

September by Entwashian
McClane/Farrell, R, ~2500 words, UST, pre-slash.
Excerpt: “So, it’s entirely possible I’m not adjusting all that well.” Matt sticks his hands in his pockets, and rocks back on his heels. // “Adjusting to what?” John asks, and Matt has to let out a giggle, because, really, everything.

Shift by Lucy
McClane/Farrell, PG, ~1200 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: He brought the beer into the bedroom, stripping out of his leather jacket, kicking off his boots, and pulling free his belt. There was a dark lump on the other side of the bed that moved when he sat down on his side, heavily. After a moment, it made a noise.

Shouldn’t But… by Strifechaos
McClane/Farrell, PG, 100 words, established relationship. Summary: Matt and John shouldn’t work together.
Excerpt: What they have logistically shouldn’t work.

Show Me, Hack Boy and sequel Reward by Froggy
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3230+1871 words. Summary: Matt tries to teach John how to use a computer, and John turns out to be a better learner than he looks. Webcams, IM’ing; my, what wonders the internet offers!
[Have not read] Excerpt: Alright, hack boy. Show me how. / John was beginning to regret those words. Matt had been making fun of him over the fact that John had never once opened his office email, and he’d challenged the kid to teach him basic computing, or whatever they called it.

Shut Up by Fool’s Game
McClane/Farrell, R, 1620 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: The thing about Matt is, he doesn’t shut up. It’s like he has absolutely no brain-to-mouth filter at all, like no thought has ever entered his head that he hasn’t immediately blurted out. And since he’s a smart guy, that’s a lot of thoughts to get out. He tends to keep up a constant, low-running commentary about whatever springs to mind.

Sierra Echo X-Ray by VZG
McClane/Farrell, Farrell/other, NC-17, 7919 words. A/N: [...]Also, for a Die Hard fic there is kind of not enough McClane, and I apologize for that… especially since it’s John/Matt. Oh— and it’s also kind of Matt/other. Like Matt/everyone in the city of New York who’s willing. Summary: Matt has sex and memories and John McClane.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt’s memory — it wasn’t quite photographic, but it was close enough. He remembered a lot of stuff, and that was why he was better than Warlock. Not that Warlock wasn’t good — amazing, even. The guy was halfway to brilliant. But he was arrogant and moody and when you got into serious stuff, he became the sort of guy no one wanted to talk to. Matt respected him, sort of, but only because he had to, because Warlock had links set up constantly that he didn’t have the time to linger on.

Simplicity and its Faults by Reigning Fyre
McClane/Farrell (?), PG-13, 7864 words. Summary: Takes place right after the new movie of Live Free or Die Hard. The resulting mess of MacClane’s emotions and how Matt ties into it all. Can this grown man, hardened cop, and father learn how to deal with a punk like Ferrel?
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: John McClane was a simple man. He liked his coffee black, he liked his six and a half hours of sleep (if that much), and he liked his guns loaded. John McClane did not like, however, confusion.

Situation Normal by Pet
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 16000 words, first time, hurt/comfort.
Excerpt: “Who…Matt? Kid? That you?” He hasn’t seen the kid since that last press conference. “I can barely hear you.” / “Yeah, I know.” There’s a little edge to that voice, a note of hysteria that’s strangely familiar. “I secured the line, it makes the connection shitty. Listen, hey, I’d love to catch up, but I kind of have this problem right now, and I know I said I wouldn’t bother you anymore, but I think someone’s trying to kill me.”

Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo by Hope (plus an outtake)
McClane/Farrell, R, 7745+1039 words, established relationship. A/N: [...], domesticity, complete lack of action (er, the helicopter/car kind). Prompt: “outsider POV”.
Excerpt: The door opens and there’s a guy standing there, a guy who isn’t Jack’s dad. They stare at each other blankly for a moment, both kind of expectantly. “Uh…” Jack begins. “This apartment 4A?” The guy’s gripping the edge of the open door loosely, arm propped up as he stands there. He blinks at Jack through the black rectangles of his glasses. “Yeah?” / “I… Sorry.”

So Good In Blue by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2114 words, first time. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, kink: “uniform fetish”, prompt: “the first time Matt sees John in his dress blues”.
Excerpt: Sharing a hotel room with the kid was simultaneously nice and nerve-wracking. He was constantly aware of Matt, the way he smelled, the way he murmured as he slept, waking John up with these arousing little groans. John had gotten hard in his boxers early that morning as he watched Matt on the other bed, turning restlessly and pushing the covers away, his pale skin almost glowing in the dark of the room.

Stake-Out by Harlequin
McClane/Farrell, R, 4584 words. Summary: Matt surprises John by showing up while John’s on a stake-out, but then John surprises Matt even more. Matt’s been living in John’s spare room for months, unaware that John has been thinking about where they might take their relationship.
[Have not read] Excerpt: ‘Matt!’ John greeted him. ‘What the…?’ / ‘Hey, John,’ Matt amiably responded, juggling bags in one arm while sliding onto the bench seat and pulling the door shut behind him. ‘How’s the stake-out going?’ / ‘What the hell are you doing here? How d’you even find me? This is no place for hanging around alone.’

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before by Zahra
McClane/Farrell, R, 2300 words, pre-’first time’, high!John. A/N: inadvertent drug usage, head shaving and masturbation, oh my!
Excerpt: An evil genius, a twenty-something hacker and a fifty year-old cop walk into a fire sale, but only the hacker and the cop come out. It’s a true story, with lots of blood and gore and helicopters being blown up with cars. It’s even got a reluctant princess and G-men. After the fire sale, the hacker and the cop are sitting in the hospital, because getting shot is kind of rough, and they have a conversation like this one

The Story of McClane’s Life by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3500 words, first time.
Excerpt: “Are you out of your fucking mind?” Matt was yelling as the baldheaded guy rolled off him and tumbled onto the floor. “McClane! What the fuck?” McClane’s brain abruptly caught up with the rest of his adrenaline-filled body and he stared at them both, breathing like a fucking freight train. Matt was dressed only in a pair of dark underwear, the waist of the boxers pulled dangerously low.

NEW Subtextual Valentines by HalfshellVenus
McClane/Farrell, R, 2800 words, first time. Summary: John might be so subtle that even he doesn’t realize what he’s saying.
Excerpt: The kid’s been living at John’s place for seven months now, which kind of surprises him when he stops to think about it. On one hand it doesn’t seem that long, and on the other it seems like Matt’s always been there. Which is to say that it’s working out, and John likes things just the way they are. Matt brought up finding his own place a couple of times, but John cut him off: “Don’t move out—it’s great having you here.”

NEW The Surprise by Siberian
McClane/Farrell, mature, 2500 words. Prompt: “unexpected”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt opened the door to his shared apartment with John McClane and set down his wallet and keys on the side table. A little smile crossed his face when he thought about the fact that he was now sharing an apartment with McClane. Never in a million years had he thought that John would return his feelings. With the same goofy grin on his face he walked into the living room and was greeted with a simple “Hi” from his lover.

Swap by Stage_Master
McClane/Farrell, PG, 100 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: It was smirks and manhandling and scars, a badge, and shoulder holster (God). What happened to full lips and short skirts?

That Guy and sequel The One Where He Tells Lucy… by Harlequin
McClane/Farrell, R, 5889+8001 words, first time. Summary: By the end of the movie, I was way too invested in McClane/Farrell slash to buy into Matt and Lucy working out as a couple. So, in this story McClane stays out of their way until he’s sure it’s over, and then visits Matt to see if his reaction to the younger man might prove mutual.
[Have not read] Excerpt: The kid smiled; Matt Farrell just instinctively broke into a broad grin as soon as he saw who was at his front door. John McClane held tight to that memory through what came next. Because barely a moment later the kid’s face fell, and he backed away, hands outstretched defensively. ‘No. Oh, no. What did she tell you?’

That Guy by Renae
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 5000 words, first time. Summary: Matt was trying desperately to ignore the chaos reigning around him, if he got out of this alive then he was never playing Grand Theft Auto again. He’d stick with Frogger.
Excerpt: McClane heaved himself up using the car for as much leverage as he could, favoring his right leg. He was scarred, scorched, and smelly, and Matt had never seen anyone like him before. It was like Arnold Schwarzenegger come to life, except smaller, balder and more redneck.

That Guy and sequels His Space, Point B, Taking Names, NEW Poster Boy by Utopian Trunks
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 34600+4000+9700+42800+14600 words, first time/established relationship, a bit of angst.
Excerpt: “I know you’re a little short on common sense, what with all that computer genius stuff taking up space upstairs, but if you were gonna break and enter and squat somewhere, most petty criminals wouldn’t've chosen a cop’s place.” Matt widened his eyes–going for the cute and innocent look the way Lucy had used to as a kid. About half the time, she’d looked like her mother and it’d worked. The other half, he’d just seen himself, laughed, and told her, essentially, to man up. “I didn’t break in!” Matt protested.

Thicker Than Water by Megyal
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2000 words.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Catherine Wilson called her younger brother to wish him a Happy New Year, because heavens knew that he needed some kind of damned cheer in his life… and this kid answered his phone. “Hey, Johnny,” she started out in her rasping voice, but there was a short laugh and a strange guy said, “Johnny? Wow, never heard that one.”

This, Undone by Lorraine
McClane/Farrell, Farrell/OMC, R, 1610 words, angst, first time (sort of).
Excerpt: “You don’t want me.” It hurts Matt to say the words aloud and he really hopes McClane doesn’t hear the quaver in his voice, but it’s true and it needs to be said. “You could have me whenever but you don’t want me. So what’s with the cock block, McClane?”

Ties That Bind (part 1, part 2, part 3) by Aylmera LaConstance
McClane/Farrell, Farrell/OMC, McClane/OFC, Mac/Danny, Sid/Hawkes, Tony/Gibbs, NC-17, 4298 words, AU, crossover with The Sentinel, CSI (all 3), NCIS. Warnings: implied rape, violence. Summary: John McClane is a Sentinel with a lousy Guide…and is assigned a case where a Guide, going against all instincts, supposedly killed his Sentinel.
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: The body was splayed spread-eagled on the floor, a single gunshot wound to the chest, point-blank. Blood pooled around the body and the smell of rotting meat began to invade the apartment. The sofa was turned on it’s back, the tables were in pieces and spread everywhere. The TV had a hole in the screen and blood decorated the edges of the hole.

to find themselves tricked by Iniq
McClane/Farrell, Elliot Stabler, G, 1900 words, established relationship, crossover with Law&Order:SVU. Warning: mention of past domestic abuse (not between the characters, though). Prompt: outside POV. Summary: Some neighbors are just silly old geese. But Detective Stabler comes to ask questions anyway.
Excerpt: “NYPD, sir,” Elliot said when he heard footsteps on the other side of the door. Then he waited for the door to be opened. This was routine by now, even though Elliot despised it. At least this time he didn’t have to fear that the person he wanted to talk to was going to take the fire exit.

Truth, and its Consequences by CPWatcher
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3350 words, first time. Warning: daddy!kink. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, kink: “truth or dare”, prompt: “Matt and John play games”.
Excerpt: Eight months after the fire sale and the Kid is still dropping by on Friday nights, two weeks out of the month, with food and drink in tow. McClane isn’t stupid. He’s seen tougher men suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, do crazy shit like barricading themselves in their house, a cache of weapons at the ready.

Untitled by Alicebluegown16
McClane/Farrell, G, 100 words. A/N: John McClane/Matt Farrell microfics. Ten fics. Ten genres. Ten words or less.
Excerpt: Crossover: “John, why is a paper company so interested in you?”

Untitled by Bentrumors
McClane/Farrell, PG, 100 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: Matt woke up when he felt John get up. It was the usual midnight wandering— water, cigarette, the moonlit window on Matt’s side of the bed.

NEW Untitled by Bentrumors
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 100 words, established relationship. Prompt: “knuckles”.
Excerpt: “Fuck, John,” Matt gasped, trying like hell not to push his fist down John’s throat.

Untitled by Chaya
McClane/Farrell, PG, 2038 words, pre-slash, some angst.
Excerpt: Matt was on a lot of drugs. John knew he’d been on drugs since before they’d gotten to the hospital, or put in the high-security suite, or any of it; the kid’s knee was shot almost at point blank, and for someone new to even getting shot at, that really called for some morphine.

Untitled by Gloriana
McClane/Farrell, G, ~500 words, pre-slash. Note: Set at some period shortly after canon.
Excerpt: Crawling through ventilation systems was not his favourite thing, McClane thought, but it beat being shot to death or suffocated, both of which the guys chasing after them had had in mind.

Untitled by Gloriana
McClane/Farrell, PG, 950 words, pre-slash (UST), angst. Warning: character death.
Excerpt: It took Matthew two years to realise that he had reached a new stage of adulthood. Or, to put it another way, that he had really begun to grow up.

Untitled by Gloriana
McClane/Farrell, PG, 500 words, established relationship, angst.
Excerpt: Matt never asked John to take him to these work dos. They hadn’t even discussed it; and McClane, to his shame, had initially been relieved at Matt’s tacit acceptance of how things had to be. But the longer Matt lived with him, the more… wrong it felt, as if a part of his life had been twisted at ninety degrees to the rest, with a squeeze that hurt him in his middle.

Untitled by Gloriana
McClane/Farrell, PG, ~500 words, pre-slash.
Excerpt: “Kid…” It was said with a sigh that could be heard even over the crappy cell connection, and he hated it when McClane called him kid, because – because he’d outsmarted Italian thugs armed with Playstation biceps and a small arsenal, right?

Untitled by Gloriana
McClane/Farrell, PG, 556 words, established relationship. Prompt: “wiggle, drop, years, fortunate”.
Excerpt: “Leave off those!” He slid the tray to one side, out of John’s reach. “They’re for the game tonight.” / “Yeah, right. You guys drink nothin’ but sugar – you need cookies too? How many cookies does it take to kill a trog, anyway?”

Untitled by Healingmirth
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1800 words, established relationship. Prompt: “party”. Summary: John always gives Matt what he needs. A/N: [...] The “party” from the prompt? Is totally off-screen, and is Matt’s 10-year high school reunion.
Excerpt: They barely made it through the door to the hotel room before Matt turned around again and grabbed hold of John’s tie, loosening the knot enough to get to the button at John’s collar. John grinned against Matt’s mouth as he found himself pinned into the space behind the door.

Untitled by Lorraine
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 612 words, established relationship, cross-dressing.
Excerpt: Every time Matt thinks he’s got John figured out, John surprises him. Like now. Matt remembers talking about this ages ago in a fit of Coors inspired honesty, but he never thought in a million years that John would actually do it.

Untitled by Miss_Pryss
McClane/Farrell, G, 100 words, established relationship.
Excerpt: “HELLO? What the hell, Matt, I’ve been knocking — Jesus!”

Untitled by No Name Product
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 430 words, first time. A/N: Seven really short drabbles about John/Matt…
Excerpt: John McClane was one of the strongest cops in the station. That’s why people respected him that much. And he wanted to keep it that way. But when Matt walked into the building and grinned at him, everyone could notice his knees go weak.

Untitled by Sociofemme
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 2000 words, first time.
Excerpt: Hell of a daring kid – okay, guy, he reluctantly amended. Brash. He liked brash. He shifted, moving up a little, then running his hands down Matt’s back until he reached his ass, and grabbed a double handful, digging in his nails. He opened his mouth and licked at Matt’s cock[...].

Upgrade by Flora
McClane/Farrell, R, 1306 words, first time. Summary: A short scene in which Matt tries to convince John to switch to Linux.
Excerpt: “Look, I don’t know why you’re being such a complete Luddite about this. Seriously, it’s stable, it’s easy, and I can teach you whatever you want to know. Open source, so you’re not paying for corporate bullshit [...]

WAD Files by Laura Smith
McClane/Farrell, PG-13, 1400 words, first time. Summary: Where’s all the data?
Excerpt: There are certain things that John McClane knows. How to handle a gun. How to deal with terrorists whether he wants to or not. He and his ex-wife are never going to get along for extended periods of time. He’s got more mileage on his body than the beat up car he bought when he was sixteen did. He likes women. Which doesn’t explain why he’s knocking on Matt’s door at two in the morning [...]

Waist Deep and Sinking by Lorraine
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 1500 words, first time.
Excerpt: McClane clearly didn’t get the memo, though, because he keeps touching Matt all the time in ways that Matt is positive are accidental. Unfortunately, his dick can’t tell the difference. If McClane was anybody else, Matt would swear he was flirting, but he’s not anybody else. He’s John Fucking McClane and no way is he coming on to a skinny hacker guy half his age.

The Walking Wounded by Svilleficrecs
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~11600 words, first time, some angst. Warnings: Pain kink, some semi-graphic images, but no on screen violence. Summary: John does “being hurt” very well. John does make it sexy.
Excerpt: There’s the fact of his respect and admiration – what he considers a totally non-sexual man crush – and there is the fact that when he gets off, it’s McClane’s abused body he thinks about. These are unrelated facts as far as he’s concerned. They could be.

What Lucy Saw by Lasha (or here)
McClane/Farrell, PG, 1607 words, established relationship. Summary: Lucy witnesses a moment between her father and his new lover.
Excerpt: Lucy McClane raced down the hospital hallway, frantically looking for room 252E. The nurse at the nurse’s station had told her that her father was “resting comfortably” in that room. Obviously the woman had never met her father because resting wasn’t something her father ever did – let alone comfortably.

What a Way To Go by Strifechaos
McClane/Farrell, PG, 100 words, first time. Prompt: tired.
Excerpt: Matthew has never been so tired in his entire life.

What You Pay For by Megyal and sequels: untitled flash fic by Karmen Ghia, Payment With Interest by Crownglass39; and alternate sequel Virtue Is Its Own Reward by Karmen Ghia
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, 3500+[600+3400]+[3756] words, first time, angst. Written for the rounds_of_kink challenge, kink: “rentboy”, prompt: “Matt has trouble getting work after the Fire Sale, so turns to being a rentboy. John finds out and is desperate to get him out of it”.
Excerpt: John saw the kid in some restaurant as he was driving by on rounds; it was by complete chance that he turned his head at a stoplight and saw Farrell, lounging back in a chair near the window. He looked skinnier, which was kind of shocking, because the kid wasn’t exactly meaty in the first place. The kid turned his head and looked right into John’s face and that was another huge surprise, because the kid’s eyes were cool. No, scratch that. The kid’s eyes were a New York winter, hard and freezing.

while he drowned by Iniq
McClane/Farrell, 2518 words. Summary: john regrets having let go so easily. he gets a second chance.
[Have not read] WIP? Excerpt: John had still gotten the occasional update from Lucy at first. But without the connection between John and Matt, the contact between the two younger people had obviously been too awkward to continue. Matt still helped her with computer problems, and Lucy had given him a cactus for the apartment he had gotten himself, but that seemed pretty much it.

Wizard by Wingwyrm
McClane/Farrell, PG, 100 words, established relationship, crossover with Dresden Files.
Excerpt: “Jesus. Worse then Harry-fucking-Potter.” John called an ice pack from the freezer[...].

WPM by Svilleficrecs
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~1000 words, established relationship. Summary: This thing that happened – that is happening between them – John hasn’t got a name for it.
Excerpt: They don’t cuddle, exactly. Matt puts his head in John’s lap sometimes and John rests his hand on the kid’s waist or his soft hair. Sometimes, John’s the one who lies down. Matt likes resting his hand on John’s arm and John falls asleep there every time, wakes up with his head on a pillow and and the sound of Matt’s quickly tapping fingers in his ears.

Wrong Person to Hack by Wingwyrm
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~7900 words, first time, crossover with Transformers. Summary: Matt Farrell was supposed to be a ‘reformed’ hacker after the Fire Sale. Then he accidentally catches someones attention and it’s going to take John McClane to keep him alive in the midst of the new danger.
Excerpt: Matt fumbled with his cell as he tried to punch in the number while he was running. Damn it! He was a hacker, not a runner. The GIANT ASS ROBOT that had been impersonating a police car was chasing him didn’t seem to care though. There was only one person he knew that he could call to deal with this.

WWJMD? by Mala
McClane/Farrell, Farrell/Lucy, R, 1550 words, first time. Summary: Matt soldiers through. He thinks “What Would John McClane Do?”
Excerpt: “Luce… have you *met* your dad? The man will still be here after the nuclear apocalypse. He’ll outlive us all. Him and the cockroaches. And he *rescued* her. How can you not love somebody who saves your life over and over?”

A Year in the Life by Miss_Pryss
McClane/Farrell, NC-17, ~4000 words, first time, some angst. Summary: One year later, Matt takes John McClane out for a drink.
Excerpt: “Look at you,” John says, his own grin wavering across his craggy face. His voice is rough with desire. “So fucking sweet.” John buries his face in Matt’s neck, licks at the sweat there. “I’m going to take care of you,” he whispers into Matt’s ear.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

OTHER SLASH PAIRINGS

Adrenaline by D.D.Darkwriter
Matt Farrell/Thomas Gabriel (?), R, 2000 words. Warning: non-con (?). Summary: Matt is captured by Thomas and in a way to get back at John, Thomas finds himself torturing the boy. Very graphic, if you don’t like Matt being tort, then don’t read.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Thomas gave a hiss to the girl, “Do you really want her pretty little face to be shot to shit?” He asked, angered.

Better Than Real by Kellifer
Matt Farrell/Sam Winchester, PG, 1680 words, crossover with Supernatural.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Sam and Matt took a few seconds to stare at each other before they both broke out into identical grins. Sam scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck and stared at his shoes. “That rumour wasn’t exactly wrong,”

Go by Frostfire
Thomas Gabriel/Trey, NC-17, 898 words. A/N: If you don’t know who these guys are, Thomas Gabriel is a hot bad guy and Trey is his cute computer geek henchperson. That is literally all you need to know to understand this.
[Have not read] Excerpt: So it’s been night and day for the last week that Trey’s been working on outfitting a semi for a hostile government takeover (in addition to all his work preparing for the hostile government takeover) because none of Gabriel’s other computer guys could find their asses with both hands and a Lojack.

Hate by Xenasoul
John McClane/Thomas Gabriel, NC-17, 94 words. Summary: John thoughts while having sex with Thomas.
[Have not read] Excerpt: I feel hands on my back, wet tongue and a healed bullet wound on my shoulder as I fuck you.

A Rough Workout by Svilleficrecs
John McClane/Elliot Stabler, NC-17, 1800 words, first time, crossover with Law and Order:SVU. Summary: Stabler doesn’t hold back; John didn’t expect him to.
Excerpt: The first time McClane notices Stabler, they’re at a funeral. Neither of them know the fallen man, and they are just two in the sea of blue. They are on opposite sides of the street and after the casket passes, John catches the guy looking at him, or maybe it’s vice versa. John holds the eye contact longer than he wants to because he wants to remember where he remembers the guy from. But he doesn’t.

Smooth Criminal by Kido Aeyka
John McClane/Hans Gruber (?), R, 2000 words. Summary: Hans Gruber was one smooth criminal…until he ran into John McClane. Contains slash, character death, and extreme language.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Something was wrong. Very wrong. Things weren’t going the way he planned. It had all seemed to be exceedingly easy, too. The takeover of Nakatomi Tower. The perfect heist.

The Unexpected by Xenasoul
John McClane/Thomas Gabriel, NC-17, 7854 words, angst, AU. Summary: This is a re-write of the movie. In my universe, the terrorist is Mai Lihn and Thomas and John are fuck-budies and sparks fly between them. They have a chance to know each other better when they´re forced to work together to catch Mai.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Lucy McClane was in the car departuring from her boyfriend in front of her house. The shagging was getting way too explicit for her tastes and when she said ‘no’ the guy didn´t listen.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

GEN FIC

After the Battle by CharmedLostie4ever
Gen (?), Farrell, PG-13, 340 words. Summary: Matt’s thoughts after Live Free or Die Hard.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Matt couldn’t help but smile as the doors to the ambulance slammed shut. “That’s what makes you that guy.”

All I Want For Christmas… by Joshua_Glass
Gen, McClane, Farrell, G, 194 words.
Excerpt: They’re sitting in the middle of debris – pieces of the van that had shielded them from the explosion, pieces of walls, desks, and probably pieces of Gabriel’s ninja (now ex-)girlfriend.

Christmas Surprise by KHSsSoccerGurl
Gen (?), PG-13, 2100 words. Summary: John McClane has a daughter; she’s invited to the Christmas party. Things get a little outta hand and well, John has taught her well if ya know what I mean.
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: “McClane, Captain wants to see ya!” an officer yelled from across the room. I sigh, knowing what is to come, and walk in the direction of the Captain’s office.

Cruiser by Wingwyrm
Gen, McClane, Farrell, PG, 100 words, humour, crossover with Transformers.
Excerpt: John looked from Matt to the truck and back again. “It’s what?”

Daddy’s Girl by Speakfire
Gen, Lucy McClane, PG-13, 8513 words. Summary: Two times when Lucy McClane listens to her father’s advice. A/N: I loved in DH4 how Lucy was so much like her father, and it got me thinking, what other times that we don’t see does she show she is truly John McClane’s daughter? I bet there’s a ton, and these are some of the times I’ve come up with on my own.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “Lucy isn’t responding to the antibiotics as well as we had anticipated,” the older woman informed John and Holly McClane, her eyes sad and her voice grim. There was more, of course, about how Lucy being born a couple of weeks early[...].

Define ‘crazy’ by Nekonexus
Gen, McClane, Farrell, G, ~325 words.
Excerpt: Matt always figured cops were the sane ones. Good cop, bad cop, didn’t much matter. They weren’t known for their sense of humour.

Die Hard by DTakersGurls
Gen (?), McClane, R, 800 words. Summary: Sorta what happens after the Die Hard movies. What McClane goes through when the bad guys are dead and the threat is over.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Tears rolled down his dirty and bloodied cheeks. Tears of pain, anger, frustration, and fear. The last one was what he hated: Fear. He hated being afraid.

Die Hard: Summer Days by PLPwriter
Gen, McClane, R, 2900 words. Summary: Weeks before Die Hard with a Vengence, John McClane finds himself in the middle of a gangwar in Harlem on the hottest day of the year.
[Have not read] Excerpt: It was hot. The hottest day of the hottest summer on record in New York city, thermometers were sky-rocketing, weather men were infuriatingly accurate and tensions were high.

Die Hardest by Esteban T. Rodriguez
Gen (?), R, 1000 words. Summary: John McClane finds himself in Seattle, spending Christmas with his family. As if his daughter’s new love interest and his son’s lack of a job weren’t enough, now he’s found himself caught up in the game again. John McClane is having another REALLY bad day.
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: John McClane stepped off the plane in the Seattle airport, greeted by a gush of cold wind that made him cringe. It wasn’t the wind so much as the snowflakes that blew into his face.

Die Hardest by Muggleman01
Gen (?), R, 1800 words. Summary: Lieutenant McClane is haunted by a name from his past. People around him start dying. And worst of all, his daughter is kidnapped… but is there more to this than McClane realizes?
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: It was a cool, brisk fall morning in midtown Manhattan as a New York City cab pulled up in front of the 17th Precinct of the New York Police Department.

NEW Different Holiday, Same Shit by Anime Ronin
Gen (?), R, 5800 words, crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Summary: Halloween fic with a twist – spell lasts longer and the guy in Xander’s body finds out that the holiday doesn’t matter, that he’s still going to be neck-deep in shit.
[Have not read] WIP? Excerpt: Xander, having lost his surplus fatigues since the previous year, had to go with his backup plan, also very generic but someone who could garner some more respect, if that were at all possible – a police detective.

Doctor by Lazydaisy501
Gen, McClane, Doctor, G, 100 words, humour, crossover with Doctor Who.
Excerpt: “What the hell is that?!” John approached a blue box in the middle of an alley. He started to knock on the door when a skinny man in a long trench coat jumped out.

Five Who Woke Up Immortal: Die Hard and Live Forever by Strangevisitor7
Gen, Joe Dawson, Duncan MacLeod, G, 250 words, crossover with Highlander. Summary: I’m sure this has been done a million times but this is my take “Waking up Immortal.”
Excerpt: Joe is watching the news when Mac enters the room. “Have you seen what’s been happening in LA?”

God Save America by Aefallen
Gen, McClane, Farrell, G, 100 words, humour, crossover with Blades of Glory.
Excerpt: As an overwrought man dressed as a peacock dashed past, yelling, “I LOVE YOU, JIMMY MACELROY!”, John McClane vowed that he’d kill Bowman when this was over.

Grin and Bear It by Atellix
Gen, McClane, Farrell, Lucy, G, 686 words, some angst. Prompt: “smile”. Summary: Lucy wants to know why her father keeps that stupid smile on his face.
Excerpt: She never knew how he could do it. Just stand there, so calmly with that slight hint of a smile playing upon his lips while his entire world was falling apart.

Homage by Wolfsbride
Gen, McClane, PG, 100 words. Prompt: blood.
Excerpt: Blood smeared starkly against the white tile. Blood slick on the counter, pooling in the sink.

live free die hard movie parody by Batya
Gen (?), PG-13, 4400 words. Summary: So I have been watching the fourth die hard a bit on the computer…(its all for the hacker kidheart) but I thought this movie seriously needs to be parodied so here we go.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Movie opens: Twentieth century fox logo: Yay!! Oh nope power died we are done now

NEW Live Free or Die Hard, Willow by Aomizuoko
Gen (?), PG, 290 words, crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Summary: What if the Hacker had been Willow, and not Mathew?
[Have not read] Excerpt: It had all started innocently enough. Or, as innocently as hacking can be. She’d been invited as apart of this Hacker’s competition.

Mass Destruction by Aerynvala
Gen, McClane, Farrell, PG-13, 230 words, humour. Prompt: “It’s not that bad”.
Excerpt: “It’s not that bad.” Matt just blinked up at John. “I mean…” John waved his hand around the burnt out shell of an apartment. “You could…”

Never Say Die by Speakfire
Gen, McClane, R, 2100 words. Summary: Four times that John McClane didn’t give up and one time that he did.
[Have not read] Excerpt: The car shook violently when bullets riddled the body, made a coughing noise, and then the hood flew off as the engine burst into flames. McClane tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he calmly observed, “Ok. Car’s on fire. That can’t be good.”

No Sleep Til Brooklyn by Myystic
Gen, McClane, Farrell, R, 5537 words. Summary: Picking up the pieces. Sort of.
Excerpt: In the end Matt decided it was ironic, the way his stint in the hospital wound up being a good six days longer than McClane’s, but then for all that McClane had been beaten up, smacked down, blown up, and shot – twice! – sixty-seven stitches and a blood transfusion later and he was back on his feet again.

…of the clan McClane by Permetaform
Gen, McClane, Farrell, PG, 100 words, humour, crossover with Highlander. Prompt: abatis.
Excerpt: … and then McClane’d started shooting at the guy and not really stopped until he’d grabbed the guy’s sword and… and chopped off his HEAD.

Quiet by Mypsychoticself
Gen, McClane, Farrell, PG, 330 words, humour.
Excerpt: “So, uh… What happened?” John tries to be gentle, but he’s not sure he pulled it off (hadn’t been good at it with Holly or the kids, either). // Matt sniffs pathetically before answering. “Beverly died.”

Sweetest Dreams by Strifechaos
Gen, McClane, Farrell, G, 205 words. Summary: A moment with the boys on their way to DC.
Excerpt: It takes three hours, but then the impromptu road trip to DC finally has silence. The kid has come off his adrenaline high, his hands aren’t shaking anymore and with the lull of the highway he’s drifted off.

NEW A Thing About Duty and sequels Ten Other Things that Never Happened to Buffy Summers: Never Bonded with the Boys in Blue, A Watcher’s Duty by Jedi Buttercup
Gen, McClane, Lucy, Buffy, Giles, PG-13, 1500 words, crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Summary: The day after her dad checked out of the hospital, Lucy dug through her purse for the business card she’d been given four years before.
Excerpt: “How many people have died because I told you no? What if I could have saved my Dad before he got shot, if I’d taken you up on that offer of training? Being super strong isn’t worth shit if you don’t know what to do with it, and– I don’t think I can just sit on this any more.

Undie Hard by Marina Rusalka
Gen, McClane, Dean Winchester, PG, 991 words, crossover with Supernatural.
Excerpt: The guy nodded immediately, which made Dean’s opinion of him go up a notch. “Okay. We go get him, then. So… with whom do I have the pleasure of facing the zombie apocalypse with?”

Unlikely Hero by Drama-Duchess
Gen, McClane, Farrell, PG-13, 7600 words. Summary: A one-shot chapter alternate ending for Live Free or Die Hard. Matt’s seemingly minor injury becomes questionable. Will he live or die?
[Have not read] Excerpt: The noises brought John McClane out of unconsciousness. Uneasy thoughts and disturbing images were twirling around in his mind. His eyelids were heavy with exhaustion and found it difficult to open his eyes. In the darkness, he questioned himself if the last seventy-two hours had been nothing more than a terrible nightmare.

Untitled by Mamoru22
Gen, McClane, Jack Bauer, G, 100 words, humour, crossover with ‘24′.
Excerpt: “Ha!” he says and drunkenly waves with his empty glass for a new round. “I can beat you on every single count.”

Untitled by Miss_Pryss
Gen, McClane, G, 100 words, crossover with Death Note (manga).
Excerpt: “‘All you have to do is pick him up at the airport,’ they said,” McClane muttered under his breath.

Untitled by Mypsychoticself
Gen, Farrell, PG, ~100 words, some angst. Prompt: blood.
Excerpt: Matt doesn’t like blood. He doesn’t like conflict, physical activity, or running for his life, but he really doesn’t like blood.

Untitled by Nekonexus
Gen, McClane, Farrell, G, 100 words, humour.
Excerpt: “Grab your purse and let’s go,” McClane growls.

Untitled by Silverprism
Gen, Farrell, G, 100 words, humour, crossover with Mac Commercials (John Hodgeman’s PC character).
Excerpt: The clunky old desktop had been the only computer salvaged from his apartment, and the only one he cared about. He’d had it forever.

Untitled by Voiceoftpe
Gen-ish, McClane, Farrell, G, 194 words, pre-slash.
Excerpt: On the day John McClane was leaving the hospital, he visited Matt Farrell’s room. Matt was scheduled to leave three days later.

Vending machine of doom! by X-Phile Tom
Gen, McClane, R, 290 words. Summary: John McLane is at his hotel having a nice night, until he wanta a soda and the vending machine makes things go horribly wrong.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “soda pop, soda pop i need a soda pop.” McLane puts 3 quarters into the machine.

What do John McClane and a tire have in common? by Ohhemmettx3 and m.whisper.in.the.darkness
Gen, McClane, PG-13, 1100 words. A/N: [...]this is related to Dane Cook’s skit “Tire In the Face,” and set between the second and third movie. It’s pretty crazy: good humor is needed.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John McClane yawned as he rubbed his head. “Stupid fuckin’ hangovers, fuckin’ hangovers…” he muttered. His unfocused eyes were staring at nothing at particular.

Why chocolate? by Rent-a-Blank
Gen, McClane, PG-13, 3700 words. Summary: Simon’s back, trying to kill McClane…again…I’ll say now that at some point this will involve a ten pound bar of Belgian Chocolate ::on permanent hiatus::
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: John McClane had a very bad headache. He had awoken at 5 a.m., hung-over, in a bad mood, and with not the simplest idea where he was. He very much wanted to be drunk again.

Yippeekiyay by Captain Hector Barbossa
Gen, R, 140 words. Summary: John McClaine and Zeus Carver have one more job to do together. Takes place after Die Hard with a Vengeance and before Live Free or Die Hard.
[Have not read] Excerpt: John calls his wife on the phone after blowing up Simon Gruber. She doesn’t answer.

You Won’t Remember A Thing In The Morning by Aefallen
Gen, McClane, Farrell, G, 100 words, humour, crossover with Harry Potter.
Excerpt: John McClane never forgot a man he’d killed. Especially not if he’d dropped him from the top floor of the Nakatomi Building on Christmas Eve.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

MATT FARRELL/LUCY MCCLANE

Note: If Matt/Lucy is a secondary/background pairing in a story, such a fic is placed in the other category (according to its main pairing).

Beauty and the Geek by Xkeeping.faythX
Matt/Lucy, PG-13, 650 words. Summary: Set after the events of Live Free or Die Hard. [...] Matt Farell recovers from his injuries and decides to take Lucy McClane out on a date. Oh, were it so easy…
[Have not read] Excerpt: Four months. That’s how long it had been, approximately. Since what, you ask? Since I nearly got brutally murdered but ended up having my kneecaps blown off instead. Okay, that’s a bit of a dramatization.

The Day After by True-elven
Matt/Lucy, R, 18200 words. Summary: Just after Live Free or Die Hard. Matt is offered a job with the FBI, but his future is disrupted when Warlock reveals that Gabriel had inside help. Matt and McClane rush to stop the sale of national secrets while Matt falls hard for Lucy.
[Have not read] Excerpt: A dull pain below his knee and an insistent beep-beep-beep pulled Matt from a restless afternoon nap. Opening his eyes, he squinted for a moment into the bright overhead fluorescent light before turning – carefully, to avoid jarring his injured leg – onto his side to glare at the IV pump, which was empty. And beeping. Again.

I’m too smooth, you’ll never see me coming by Modillian
Matt/Lucy/Mary Elizabeth Winstead, NC-17, 1700 words, AU, crack.
[Have not read] Excerpt: “Who the fuck are you?!” yelled Lucy’s clone. / “Who am I? Who are you?!” Lucy yelled back. / “Uh,” said Matt. This was bizarre. And also, they needed to get moving before the huge ventilators above them spun crazily off axis and chopped off their heads.

Live Free For Little Deaths by Modillian
Matt/Lucy, NC-17, 500 words, first time.
Excerpt: Sitting up, Lucy on top of him. His leg is still bad, so she’s astride. Too quick, painful for both of them.

LoveShyness: A Matt and Lucy Collection by Atellix
Matt/Lucy, PG-13, 13570 words. Summary: Series of one-shots centering around the developing relationship of Matt Farrell and Lucy McClane from the movie “Live Free or Die Hard”. Continues after the movie.
[Have not read] WIP? Excerpt: He’d done so well for so long. Matt had kept up with John McClane, survived, and maybe even helped at times. The last time John McClane had seen him, he was smiling, trying his best to casually look at Lucy McClane without getting himself killed by her father.

That Guy by BG Sparrow
Matt/Lucy (?), PG-13, 3200 words. Summary: A scene added between Matt and Lucy, and an eavesdropping McClane at the hospital at the end of Live Free.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Though this hospital wasn’t filled to full capacity with injured and dying people, Matt Farrell knew that wasn’t the case in other parts of the country (especially Washington D.C.). An involuntary shiver went up his spine at the memory of the chaotic situation in one of the city’s tunnels a few days prior.

~~~~~~~~~~

 

OTHER HET PAIRINGS

NEW Brown Liquor by Cidercupcakes
McClane/Buffy, 585 words, crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Prompt: “drinks”.
[Have not read] Excerpt: She was beautiful, and had come in with a dark-haired, leather-clad girl who’d told him to go for it when she, herself, dragged some hapless, grinning bastard out of the bar. She was also young enough to have gone to school with Lucy, and remembered him from when she’d lived in California and her parents were still together, and he found out that at least he and Holly weren’t the only people splitting that Christmas.

Fourth of July by Dominotheory
Thomas Gabriel/Lucy McClane, PG-13, 650 words. Summary: This is my take on what could have happened after the credits. Thomas Gabriel didn’t die from his gunshot wound and is left with nothing but his thoughts.
[Have not read] Excerpt: He had completely underestimated her. She was so much like her father that it unnerved him. And that moment of being taken aback? It had been his complete and utter downfall.

Here We Go Again! by DeanFanGirl
John McClane/OFC (?), G, 1960 words. Summary: John McClane has to protect a young woman who saw two detectives being murdered.
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: John McClane was past out from another night of drinking to calm his nerves. He knew he should quit drinking but he didn’t give a shit what other people thought.

NEW Just Passing Through by Jedi Buttercup
McClane/Catherine Willows, PG-13, 1400 words, UST, crossover with CSI. Summary: Catherine pitied the CSIs that had to pick up after one of his “bad” days.
[Have not read] Excerpt: Catherine’s first thought, when she glimpsed an all-too-familiar profile above a dark leather jacket at the end of the bar she’d just entered, was that she was very, very glad she wasn’t on shift that evening.

A Life for a Life by Indiana13
Hans Gruber/OFC, PG-13, 11200 words. Summary: Hans Gruber has made his money lying, cheating and stealing, and the Nakatomi Building in beautiful LA is no different. But when a fragment of his past comes back to haunt him, how will we handle it? Can he handle it at all?
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: It was the same story as last Christmas. 14 year – old Rachel Brown was stuck waiting for her mother to finish her shift at the Christmas Shop; nearly everyone else had gone for the evening. The only other person she was aware of in the store was a tall man with dark brown hair and a dark blue suit.

A Man Like Him by Slvrdelight
Hans Gruber/OFC, PG-13, 6038 words. Summary: A story in the view of a certain Raine Hartman and her story. How she met Hans Gruber and how they fell in love.
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: That fateful night was when my life took a spin. Who knew? The moment I saw that Hans Gruber’s face, my fate was sealed. Who actually knew I’d fall for a man like him?

Simon’s Side by Piratebloodprincessheart
Simon Gruber/OFC, R, 3400 words. Summary: When ex-cop Felicity Mason meets notorious Simon Grüber, trouble’s in store. Will she be swayed and abandon her values or turn him into the police?
[Have not read] WIP. Excerpt: “He’s in there all right,” Felicity Mason said to her partner, Joe Vilaski. “And he knows what he’s doing, that’s for sure.”

Tiger Tiger Brennend Hell by Wolf0307
Hans Gruber/OFC, NC-17, 2800 words. Summary: Set inside Die Hard. A woman is desperate to make it out of the building alive and offers herself to Hans. The only question is, will she make it out alive…
[Have not read] Excerpt: “I have a request.” Hazel eyes raise themselves to meet my gaze. / “And you are…?”

Without You by Boondock-Angle
Thomas Gabriel/OFC, R, 2182 words. A/N: I always joked with some of my friends that Hans should have had a daughter and once we saw Live Free or Die Hard… well she had to obviously be married to Thomas Gabriel… it’s not going to be marry sue is! I promise.
[Have not read] WIP? Excerpt: A young woman no more than 25 went to pick up her three year old son who was playing with blocks on the floor. “Tommy… come on. Daddy’s on the phone.”

~~~~~~~~~~

 
P.S. If you are aware of any other stories fitting this list or encounter a broken link, please, let me know (comment here or on livejournal).